January 16, 2012
Personal 101 – Self-Evaluation and Fore-planning
Hobbies What did you enjoy doing as a child? What do you enjoy doing now in your free time? If money and time were no object, what would spend your time doing?
As a child, I enjoyed Theatre, Television, playing instruments, reading books, singing for my classmates, learning, video games, and driving miniature cars. Today, NOTHING has changed. I love performing in Theatre, watching Friends, playing the Piano and the Harmonica and my replica Ocarina from Legend of Zelda, reading Tolkien and Young Adult fiction, singing for anybody who will hear, challenging myself spiritually and mentally, playing the occasional video game, and driving my Toyota. 
I really, and brutally honestly do not think I would change that with all the money in the world. Granted, I may do it in some tropical paradise instead of Indiana, but the actions would be the same. hahaha.
Career As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? What would be your ideal career now? Again, don’t limit yourself to money requirements, locations, or even your education at this time. The job doesn’t even have to exist; this is just a way to get to know yourself at a deeper level. Dream for a bit, see what happens!
When I was a child, I wanted to perform on Broadway. I wanted to be up in the lights and have everybody clap for me, because I knew they liked it when I clapped for them. My ideal career is not far off from that. Certainly, Broadway is a goal. Yet, I am not so sure I would like to be bound by it. I can see myself in Broadway, Opera, Jazz, Cabaret, and any other performing art. As a dream job, I’d be happily performing all the time for everyone. A job I knew very well so I would have a lot of free time to do the hobbies I have above. I dream of singing my favorite roles over and over again and making people happy. Entertainment is all I have ever known and all I ever really care to know. I am a healer in that way.
Education If time and money were not issue, what would you want to learn more about? This includes your Jedi path – if we had our ideal situation of an offline Academy or Temple, what would you hope to learn and focus on? Be as specific as possible.
Oh dear! I’d go to LAW school, and medical school. I’d be an OB-GYN. I would be an entertainment lawyer or a Supreme Court Justice. All dream jobs that I could never bring myself to do for some reason, probably my hatred for American justice system and/or health field. Jedi-wise, I think DAILY about an offline Jedi Temple. A place where I could go and meditate in a chamber and work in a place where nobody would bother me about what I was supposed to do or try to engage in “small-talk”. GOD I hate small-talk. It’s not useful. I would want to learn to fight and become muscular and strong. I would focus on it daily and sing and read at night once my training was over. Perfect existence.
Personality What do you consider to be your strengths? For instance, are you good at making deci-sions? Are you creative? This is a very general question to get you to think in general about your strengths. No strength is too ‘small’ or insignificant, so share whatever you come up with.
My list of ten strengths:
1. I love. WAY too much. I constantly find myself enamoured by friendship, deed, heartbreak, and the human condition.
2. I accept my failures and work from them. I understand that I fail. I understand that I am not always right. But, I don’t care. I will constantly work to remedy those issues so I do not face a similar problem in the future. I hope that by doing this, I do not allow “history to repeat itself”, as it were.
3. I am creative. I write and read. A lot. This weekend, I fit in 400-something pages of book. I learn so much and it makes me a better and more knowledgeable person.
4. I dream big. As I said, I want to perform on Broadway or in the Met. HUGE goals. But, it only makes me work harder. I know I will be the best I can be.
5. I am a pacifist. Going along with 1., I am not a fighter by design. I am a big teddy bear. Some would say this is a weakness, but I see the inherent strengths in acting with compassion. I just have to work on ACTIVELY being compassionate instead of passively doing so.
6. I am Dionysian. I party some. I think it is important in a thinker’s life to loosen up every once and a while. It gives me perspective and keeps me grounded instead of letting my head seep up into the sweeping clouds of rhetoric and language wherein I think. hahaha.
7. I am Apollonian. As well as with Bacchus, I am with Apollo. I am ambitious and ready to overcome my obstacles. I am an achievist, which makes me competitive. Sometimes, though, I can have a negative attitude about my ambition. Oh well, nobody’s perfect.
8. I realize I am not perfect, but I am Perfect. It is so incredibly complicated, but probably the most important strength about me. I do not have perfection (defined: the subjective view of the World that qualifies one to be without fault). I know people that believe that are perfect and without fault because their opinion is the only valid one. I am Perfect (defined: the objective view of every person recognizing their inherent imperfection, yet with an integral belief that individualized Perfection is built by being the BEST person one can be). I see my weaknesses not as flaws but as challenges and hopes to overcome.
9. I am a quick learner. I read FAST and I read well. I do not take in details when I read very quickly, but I do catch a very good gist of the main idea. I tend to soak up audio details quickly and learn very fast. This helps in problem solving. This also helps keep my workload down in my school assignments.
10. Finally, I am good with Time Management. Somehow, I had a BUNCH of free time last semester and came out with a 4.0 after taking 19 credit hours. This just speaks for itself.
How does this fit into the overall plan of your life? Dare to dream:
These strengths are all Jedi-essential. I think they help me recognize where my weaknesses are, and where I can improve. Being a Jedi is a constant pursuit of Greatness (defined: the lust for Knowledge, strength, and clarity). I think I am on the right path. No, I KNOW I am on the right path. So, I don’t dare to think too much about the future; I prefer a Qui-Gon perspective.
Communication 101 – Self-Talk Homework
Basically, the assignment is: Document for four days the usage of Self-Talk. At least one example a day.
17th January – Yesterday, I had fun with this. Tuesdays and Thursdays are especially hard days. I always freak out about how I never have enough time to do EVERYTHING. But, I handle my free-time very well. I had a specific incident where I had to choose between eating and working. I knew that if I didn’t eat, my metabolism would crumble for the day. So, I told myself that I could to my work tonight after class. I did. Lo and behold, I got my work done and got a good 6 hours. haha.
18th January – Today, I ran out of underwear. I need to do laundry. And, it’s 9:30 and I need to be in bed, asleep, by 12. Oy! My self talk right now is about how to get my homework done and do my Staff Meeting I am in right now. I’ve decided to space my homework out tomorrow by telling myself that I have enough time to get everything done. I will be in a much better mindset tomorrow. This is mostly how my self-talk works. I talk myself through my schedule and everything I have to do in a day, and I make time for it by telling myself I can do it and that I have the resources. It always works.
19th January – Somehow today has been hectic. I didn’t even do that much, but it snowed, and getting to all my classes was an issue. It took all the self-talk I had in me to just GET to class. “It’s fine. Ice is walkable. Just give yourself more time to get there. And, meditate on the ground.” It was a good exercise. I got to be extremely focused while walking a mile in the ice-y conditions. And, best of all, I was able to be successful at it!
20th January – Today has been a nightmare, as most of my days are. But, today especially. I had an issue with Advertisements where I missed a deadline and had to deal with my Vice President about dealing with it. I was able to stay my emotional fears about by just keeping a rational mind. I told her facts only and that I was sorry, it wouldn’t happen again. I got a long text rant, which I deserved. Then, I made the commitment to fix the problem as best I could. I talked to my people and supervisors and somehow got it approved for tomorrow. One day late is a lot better than Monday. Only a self-talk of focus and determination got me what I needed to do DONE.
Useful tool!
January 15, 2012
How Important is Self-Talk?
We define self-talk as the self-motivation one gives when one is attempting to problem-solve. We can approach this Positively or Negatively. An example of the Positive would be: “Let me examine all the options and see if I have solved a problem similar to this one or if I can look up the answer.” An example of the Negative would be: “Oh ****, I have done it again! Way to go, stupid.”
OBVIOUSLY, both methods are 100% magnitude exaggerations. One does not simply approach ANYTHING from the black and white stand point (yes, that was a LOTR reference). Yet, for the purpose of this exercise, I will address in terms of Positive and Negative for discussion’s sake.
Self-Talk is the way we evaluate our position. It is a way of checking our progress, our available solutions, and our overall morale during a crisis situation. It is that gut moment when a problem arises that one either says: “I can do this!” or “I’m a failure.” It is blatantly obvious which of the two is more productive. Of course, in MY situation, I approach a problem with a lot of over-confidence as a means of protecting my failure, and I deal with my problems after I solve them. In a way, this is very healthy because it keeps me from dipping too low into self-loathing; but, it is not entirely truthful either. I do not wish to approach anything from a Negative stand point because I will not get anything done. This is why Self-Talk is important. If we approach issues with an attitude of negativity, it is possible that we will not be as successful because we will not have any confidence or purpose behind our input; our output will be stilted.
How can we overcome this without lying to ourselves? What allows self-talk to be real, truthful, and Positive at the same time? Well, first off, I think it is JUST as detrimental to the situation to be pompous as it is negative. I think when we try to overcompensate, we bias our options to a pre-determined spectrum of self-experience. We close ourselves off to help and to the abyss of possibility that could contain the correct answer to our issue; so, when we approach a problem with open arms and a willingness to be flexible, we can set aside our convoluted self-actuality and allow the flowing of thoughts to take us to a critical location of problem solving. A machine of good work, as it were. In terms of discrimination, information cannot be accepted when it is not needed. This is the issue with approaching a problem completely positively. Sometimes, we allow an absence of bias to provide us “too many” options. Information discrimination is best approached by experience and resourcefulness. Problem solving would be NOTHING without a calm, focused, Vipassana-esque approach. We tend to work ourselves into a frenzy and try “everything”. This is unfocused and Negative. Being calm, telling yourself “I am well-equipped to handle this problem” will serve you better. You will not rush into anything and you will calmly auto-deliberate your issues.
In the end, Self-Talk is very important. Just as a painter sets out to cover his mistakes with good paint; he never proceeds hastily and with abandon. We, as problem-solvers should approach our issues with a sound mind, a “steady hand”, flexibility, and experience. It is paramount that we use Self-Talk in a positive way since we cannot escape it. To answer the question: YES, Self-Talk is important. It would not be important if we were not to use it. Unfortunately, that is not an option. We will always have gut reactions. And, yes, most of us will have to reprogram ourselves to be open and ready. We might as well approach it in a Positive manner as this promotes productivity overall and a good spirit towards the self.
-Riddle.
December 31, 2011
2011 in Review.
Hey guys. I just wanted to post about what this blog has done during 2011. As we near the end, things are starting to begin.
2012 will be the year of the Standardization of the Jedi Path. As well as the finality of the schedule of my training as a Jedi. Hopefully, I will be finished with my physical training (at least for Adept purposes) by the end of the Summer of 2013. Of course, one never finishes learning. Though, we must retire to some level of acceptance at SOME point. I just have to reach my goal of being physically in shape and competent in basic combat skills. I am not so much concerned with the finer details of martial art because I am not a fighter. Mostly, I learn for self-defense and for my own health.
2011 has been the year of self-discovery. I have finally grown into my body and mind and spirit. I have a working relationship with the Universe as I leave my developmental years behind and really start to acquire knowledge that has been inside of me all along.
A few stats: I posted 50 times in 2011.
I wrote, 33,249 words (an average novel has 50,000 words.)
I completed three courses. And, I also completed 5 Ashla Assignments.
That’s a ton of self-discovery. haha.
So, now you know. I was productive.
SEE YOU IN 2012!!!!
December 30, 2011
Effects of Technology on Development in Society Part I
Ashla Article for January 2012
The Effects of Technology on Development in Society
Part I
The Current State of Development and Internet Usage
Thesis: They call kids the Digital Natives (Prensky 2001). We are at a stage in our societal development when we no longer have to rely on interpersonal 3rd dimension communication in the workforce or even in consumer situations. People earn money over the Internet, and they buy pretty much anything they want from the Internet as well. This essay seeks to define where our society is in terms of being defined by this Digital Age, and I will talk about my opinion on where this is going to go in the future.
Not much emphasis is placed on history anymore. Our society is obsessed with innovation and forward thinking. Information is readily available at our fingertips, and the entire world is contained in a searchable database. Easy-to-find information creates a new way of thinking in the human mind. Once, people learned information and then needed to store it for a long period. Our brains were trained to remember vast quantities of information during our developmental years. As children, we learned mathematics, syntax, basic social procedure, and whatever else constitutes an Elementary education; yet, computers seem to be stopping that developmental part of long-term memory. I have often wondered if the storing of so much information online could be the decline of human thought; if the containing of life’s mystery on the web meant that we would not have to store it in our heads. That begs the thought of whether the human mind is a reservoir of “need”-based information or if it is a reservoir of “want”-based information. If we assume that the brain is “need”-based, then history is only something that needs to be documented, which can then be stored online. Therefore, the brain will have no need to recall it, and thus will not; however, the brain actually recalls everything you ever experience (sciencemuseum.org.uk). This is important, because it takes away the argument of “what a person can and cannot learn”. The brain learns everything.
So, why do we find ourselves increasingly dependent on the Internet for information? According to neurobiology, memories are stored according to importance, which is decided by the hippocampus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hippocampus). The information learned then goes through a process of repetition. There are two types of memory: episodic and semantic. Episodic memory is autobiographical in nature, and it is related to experiences and emotion. I am not focusing on this type of information because it is not particularly relevant to the discussion of “need”-based vs “want”-based information. Semantic information, though, is factual in nature and is the center for my argument (Shafy 2008). My most convincing argument for “need”-based memory is phone numbers. The brain does not need to recall these anymore (due to the advent of cell-phone number storage), so why should it? People only need to receive the number one time, store it in the phone, and then completely forget everything about it except for the name to which it is attached. I do, however, have a few numbers memorized. I can recall my mother’s cell-phone number, my father’s cell-phone number, and my house phone number. I learned these when I was young because the first cell-phone I had did not record numbers like the cell-phones of today do. A few weeks ago, though, I tried recalling my father’s cell-phone number and confused it with half of my mother’s cell-phone number. The semantic memory had begun to fade because I did not need it anymore. This sheds light on the argument of “need’ vs “want” based information. The brain IS need-based, but it is hierarchical. After a while, I could resolve the issue in my mind and remember the numbers clearly and separately.
This is the state of all things. Large abundances of factual information have become common luxury rather than necessary memory. We remember things in a present state, but over long term only recall things we need on a daily basis. Instead of knowing my mother’s cell-phone number, I know how to find it on my cell-phone. There is an equal amount of importance, but the latter takes precedence because of its daily pragmatism. As our generation (the Digital Natives) grows older, we do not use history on a daily basis. I do not use the things I learn in school on a daily basis, but I do use the techniques of learning that I acquired during my formative years daily. I cannot tell you what I learned in fourth grade, but I can tell you that I can recall the process I used to learn that information. It has not changed since then; I have similar learning strategies and similar dependencies. Technology is influencing the way we remember information not by changing the way we learn, but by restructuring our mind’s hierarchy of information storage (McKie 2011). This is what is changing. If you ask a teenager what George Washington’s birthday is, he/she may stare back at your blankly, but the moment you ask him/her to look up the date, they will have it for you in almost the same amount of time it would have taken them to recall the information in the first place. Memory has become a way of recalling information through a more reliable third party. This reaches into the very foundation of human need for power and “being right”. It really is a trust issue, not a social issue.
This is an excerpt from SherWeb blog, I thought it might be interesting to share here:
“Wolf worries that the style of reading promoted by the Net, a style that puts “efficiency” and “immediacy” above all else, may be weakening our capacity for the kind of deep reading that emerged when an earlier technology, the printing press, made long and complex works of prose commonplace. When we read online, she says, we tend to become “mere decoders of information.” Our ability to interpret text, to make the rich mental connections that form when we read deeply and without distraction, remains largely disengaged. Deep reading, as Maryanne Wolf argues, is indistinguishable from deep thinking.” (see http://blog.sherweb.com/how-the-internet-affects-your-brain/ for the whole article)
We cloister away from our old form of reading to a newer form as technology changes. I have read a lot online where surveys show that the percentage of teens that read has NOT changed since the advent of the Internet. I wondered: how could that be when literature has become scarcely a part of childhood and the Internet can change so much scarcity into easy-access information. I think the excerpt above states it the best: we are no longer a community of slow-moving, deep thinkers. We are the Digital Age. It is immediate, fast, and to-the-point information that makes good reading now. The Digital Age has altered the way we remember and the way we store ideas. It is not a question of “want”; it absolutely is a question of “need”. The Internet has changed society’s method of being productive. Back before computers, life was slower in the sense of information travel. People did not always find out things right when they happened. Sans telephone communication, the main constant source of news was only daily, and it was centered in the periodical genre. Because of that, things did not “happen” as fast, if that makes any sense. People did not know who the president was until the morning after Election Day, if that! This is why there was so much emphasis on putting as much information into the daily events as possible. This is why the newspaper genre will fail as it is now. People are not as concerned with the deep meanings and intricacies of what happens in the world; they are interested in the events themselves as they happen. The brain is more efficient this way. Society’s “collective brain” shows that the Internet is changing how we perceive and therefore store information.
In terms of psychological development, the Internet is a beehive of social networking. The Internet has websites like Facebook that have changed the way people interact in the 3rd dimension, sometimes referred to as “Real Life”, as if the cyber-world is merely a mirage. It is purely hypocritical, social networking. Data shows that teenagers use the Internet more and more for social interaction, and it is constantly the top percentage of reasons why people in general use the Internet (Affonso 1999). The same data ALSO shows, hypocritically, that young people have become socially recluse. Teenagers, averagely, interact less with their peers face-to-face when they have Facebook as an interface (Affonso 1999). At New York University, there was a sharp increase in drop-outs as computer integration also increased (Wallace 1999). They dropped out because they spent too much time addicted to the computer instead of their schoolwork. I wouldn’t want to be those kids when the parents got the results of THAT study.
These two views really encapsulate what the Internet has done to the Digital Native generation. Growing up in a world of fast-paced interaction, information is not stored the same way that it used to be stored. Children growing up intuitively in the Digital Age learn the same amount of material that their parental generation did; they simply learn different information. They learn how to find information on the web the same way they learned to recall information simply from their head when the Internet was not around. This slight shift in ideology can make all the difference, though. I will explore the actual repercussions of society’s adaptation to Internet communication in Part II of this essay.
Bibliography
Prensky, Marc. “Digital Natives, Digital Immigrants Part 1,” On the
Horizon 9.5. October 2001. (1–6).
Weblink:
Shafy, S. “An Infinite Loop in the Brain”. Spiegal.de. November 2008.
http://www.spiegel.de/international/world/0,1518,591972,00.html.
McKie, R. “The Lost Art of Total Recall”. The Guardian. March 2011.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/mar/13/memory-techniques-joshua-foer.
Affonso, B. “Is the Internet Affecting the Social Skill of Our Children?”
Sierra Source. University of Nevada: December 1999.
http://www.sierrasource.com/cep612/internet.html#23.
Wallace, A. The psychology of the Internet. New York:
Cambridge University Press. 1999.
In response.
“if i may throw my own 2 cents in here i myself have always had my alligance to the force regardless the situation. the jedi creed’s mixed in with a tint of buddisim would make it so i had to turn people if they pose any threat regardless who they are. even if that person did something as simple as steal food when they dont need it.a simple theft could jump to murder in a heartbeat. i would never kill a innocent person. if a person i knew hurt a child i would knock them out and allow the cops to handle it” – zaron.
Me: Well, it’s always been hard for me to identify with “ideals” and fixed sets of beliefs to determine what constitutes morality. For example: when America made the Constitution, it was BARELY ratified. And, somehow it survived as our governmental document for over 200 years. It is still a strong piece of writing and it certainly keeps us on top. But, at the MENTION of revising the document, people go ape crazy. “YOU CAN’T CHANGE THE CONSTITUTION, IT’S PERFECT.”
So.. I mean. The Constitution CERTAINLY isn’t perfect, and it could definitely stand to be rewritten or revised. But, people are brought up to revere it, so they do not question it.
In terms of the Force, you can certainly put your allegiance there. But, remember that the Force is NOT a human creation. We categorize it that way by giving it Science Fiction point of references and giving principles that denote whether or not you are talking about the Force, but that does not make it a human creation.
What IS a human creation: The Jedi Code. The Creeds. Maxims. Ideas, WHATEVER literature is on the internet about Jediism/Jedi Arts/etc… These are all things inspired by the Force, but they are not Holy or OF the Force itself. Just like the Bible is not the Word of God, literally. It can’t be. It went through the guidance of Christian minds before it reached paper. It, like anything else made by humans, could have been marred or changed from the original intentions. People that accept the Bible at face value and believe every word succumb to sin and treachery when they base their whole lives off of a single point of reference.
The SAME applies to your holding close to any Buddhist or “religious” aspects of Jedi belief.
You give up individual sincerity of morality when you hand over your free will to ANYTHING. Morality is best served on a case by case basis, taking everything you have ever learned and judging it with your own mind. Create your OWN dogma, but change it every second of every day. I have always been a firm believer that NO single task has the same answer as any other. When you are trying to decide what is “right”, you will eventually have to forgo all of what you have put stock in and realize: What you have learned doesn’t really matter. Sure, all of your experience is necessary to make informed decisions, but YOU have to make those decisions, NOT the “idea” of the Force.
A blatant example: When you see a poor person on the street, a Christian is commanded by his/her dogma to help this person. But, people who blindly believe in this will simply HELP the drunk/criminal/rapist to get a hamburger and just continue doing what they have always done. If I were a Christian, I would understand that he is a sinner, and all sinners can have redemption NOT by their actions, but by the saving grace of Christ. I would believe this, and then I would ask the poor person what they believe. Their response will most likely be: “Look, kid, I just want something so I can make it to tomorrow”. Understand that, know they are sincere, help them live till tomorrow by feeding them, but do NOT allow them to continue a sinful nature. Otherwise, you caused it, and you are in JUST as much blame as the person you helped.
It’s very complex.
All I am trying to get across, though, is that blindly having ANY point of reference bars you from truth. Don’t act according to Jedi beliefs, use those Jedi beliefs to guide your own decision making tempered by knowledge, reason, and compassion.
December 23, 2011
Ashla Assignment 5
Is it your intention to replace your current path with the path of Ashla, or supplement your path with elements of the Ashla Philosophy? Either way, can you embody the path of Ashla as you are, or will changes be required? Explain your answer in detail.
It is my intention to use the Ashla Philosophy to gain a further understanding of my life’s pursuit of truth. I believe that our World is quickly becoming more and more clouded by a lack of need for true knowledge. To qualify, I mean the First World culture dominated by Television, Hollywood, Celebrity, Shallow-ism, Religion, Dogma, and Technology. I have to say that I do not believe that the culture I live in is terrible. In the way of comfort, we have perfected the state of being humans long for. We do not crave fighting; at least we are taught to hate violence. Although, we will not hesitate to go to war when the economy is bad. Because we “have” to. I have a strong suspicion that comfort will soon run out. The illusion that America is “well-kept” and “strong” is quickly fading. Hard-working economies like China’s are going to surpass the United States soon, and even Americans know it. The world is beginning to fall off balance, and I have to know some semblance of truth in order to survive.
It is not my intention to become jaded and cruel; I simply want to be a part of a real world. I do not want to be stuck in an environment of fake comfort. And, it is interesting; I think comfort has become my enemy. It has taken me from a condition of health and ruined me. In my comfort, I watched too much television, I ate too much, I didn’t exercise enough, and now I have diabetes and I am 100 pounds over-weight. I have, though, begun to exercise instead of watching television, and I have been very successful. I have found truth under my comfort and have lost 26 pounds in 3 months. I am on my way to being healthy again. This condition enlightens me. I have found that it does not take years sitting in front of a book to find truth. It takes putting the book down and learning in the real world as well. Book knowledge cannot replace Experience. I am meant to explore higher reaches of the Universe, and the only way I can reach those realms is to master my life here.
The condition of my life is one that has always been dominated by school. Our society keeps us in a safe learning environment far too long. We are not allowed to explore the world as we desire to lest we be tempted by dangers. I think it is because we are not taught that what our parents teach us is not always right. I think we should be taught to challenge all pre-conceived conceptions from an early age. I am not well versed enough in childhood development to understand how this would work or not work. But, I am convinced that children are smart enough and curious enough to handle new information that challenges the very foundations they were brought up on. I believe that all people have become too complacent with their current standing in the world. We have our paths so clearly laid out for us that we do not know why we are taking that road. It is absurd, really.
Amidst all the confusion is where I lie. I am sure I need to make changes to my life in order to understand and participate in the Ashla Philosophy as a whole. In reading through the philosophy section of the website, I have found a lot of ideas that I agree with but ideas that I have not been practicing actively. I find it like a Christian who believes in God, yet follows non of the principles set down by the Bible just out of laziness. Bringing it back to comfort, I am aware that comfort is the antagonist to my constant seeking of truth. This is a pain of growing older. As we become more complacent with our path, we stop asking why we are taking this certain path. The more auto-pilot we allow ourselves to be, the more likely we will take a wrong turn and not even know we took a turn at all.
It is a curse of human living to be plagued by a lack of determination or vision. This absence of direction is caused by a mindless acceptance of what is. I am sure I have fallen victim to this. There are few people in the world that fought for change until the end of their life. They were Ashla Masters, in my opinion. They always sought the Light and truth that comes from a constant struggle with what seems to be the only “right” way. When we act from bias, we limit ourselves. I am afraid that this is how my life has developed. I have become a slave to my own dogma that I have created! My own knowledge keeps me from growing because I succumb to it. So, I have to ALWAYS continue changing in my own life in order to find truth. I guess, in that way, my truth is NOT constant. My truth continues to change, grow, and develop. This makes sense, of course. As time moves ever forward, and the Universe is physically growing, why would I ever assume that Truth stays the same? To quote a cliché: “the only the constant is change”. This is a very true assessment that people do not seem to listen to. I think people choose to define it to a limited number of things. I am positive this is unquantifiable! It applies to time and truth as much as it does the rotting of bread. Things, as we perceive them, move forward. So, when we fight that, and choose complacency, we become slaves to inaccuracy and anachronism.
What a pity.
So, what do I plan to do with Ashla? I plan to keep accumulating knowledge and being critical of everything I learn. I want to continue being challenged by life instead of losing by resigning to complacency. It is a strong desire I have to change the world simply by changing with it. I hope you will support me on my journey.
My Story (thus far)
Personal 101 First Assignment.
My story.
Ok. Well, my childhood is not important. I was raised on Star Wars, and I had a lot of religious trauma early in my life. I was plagued by identity crisis until I was 17 years old. At the time, I had been going back and forth between being a Christian and not being one. I had been a Jedi since I was 12. I had been “training” for knighthood up until that point (in addition, I had been a Sith for some time during that period, but I do not ever consider myself a Sith). Jackie Meyer, my current mentor, had been counseling me about my inner thoughts and I came to the realization that I was not Sith material. I had received a bad message from within myself that told me to get out! So, I did. I joined the ranks of the Jedi. Now, I don’t have any extra-spiritual connection to the Force like some do. I know Jackie has a hard time manipulating anything. I have a similar issue. I am also out of shape (this is at 17). So, when I started my training at the Institute in 2009, I had to kind of start over. I had to unlearn all that I had learned on my own. And, my life really began at 17. I began my first real relationship with a girl. I graduated high school at rank 19 out of over 800 students. I was ready to take on the world. I therefore promptly took a year long hiatus. And, in March of 2011, I really began my training full time again. So, this on and off thing had been going on for a while. So, I decided to make a commitment. I had to do at LEAST two courses every 6 months. I completed the Intro, Force 101, and Meditation course all by the end of October. I took November off, and I worked on my adept research paper (all the research is done, now I just have to WRITE it. haha. That will most likely be finished in the summer of 2012). And, now I am starting my second round of courses at the Institute.
As for emotionally, I am kind of on a weird level right now. I have no idea what I want in life, even though I have defined my path so well. It is interesting how that works. If I had my way, I could pull my life in many, many directions. But, I cannot. I want to see the world and experience the Creation, but I also want to get my life underway and explore what I can do. So, it is kind of a battle between many sides of myself. I have the adventurer, and the thinker, and the reader, and the philosopher, and the musician, and the artist, and the dramatist… etc. They all conflict. I have to find a way to find balance and coexist with all the yearnings I have.
As for physically, I am on my way to success. I used to weigh 300 pounds, but in 4 months, I have lost 26 pounds. I am on my way to being 215, fit, and muscular.
As for mentally, I am at the top of my class. People consider me to work non-stop. But, I love it. I LOVE being part of a community of learning people. I never want to leave school. haha. But, I know I have to someday. I am planning on becoming a PhD in something. Not exactly sure yet, but it will probably have something to do with my Musical abilities. I am an opera singer and a classical composer. I write musical theater as well. In addition, I write poetry and essays on political topics. I am interested in law and social sciences. I am not so much interested in Calculus, or Natural Science… as I am not really left brained at all. Although, I do enjoy the challenge!
Finally, as for spiritually, I am on the fence. I understand that there is a Creator, and He is God. I believe that his omnipotence creates a binding energy in the universe known to ME as the Force. I am aware that Science coexists with these ideas and supports them. I believe that I am meant to follow the Jedi path NOT as a religion, but as a spirituality. It’s very hipster of me. But, I do not worship the Force. I live it. I am a part of it. And, it is a part of me.
I have written QUITE a bit about myself in this blog. If you are interested in specific topics, look through the categories and I am SURE you will find what you are looking for. I appreciate you reading my “update” on where I am. And, I hope you comment and give advice or just read and acknowledge. Thank you!
-Riddle.
December 22, 2011
Communication 101 – Pre-class evaluation
1. Immediately following making a mistake, what do you say to yourself, internally or externally?
Usually, I take the blame internally with some kind of “swear” phrase. If I don’t, then I am feeling very prudish that day and will use a small euphemism in my mind. I usually get pretty upset with myself about mistakes, but I also usually keep going in order to finish the task I set out to do and deal with my mistake later. I also, funny enough, tend to think of solutions for my issues very quickly and execute them to “cover up” my folly.
2. When you are confronted with something you are unsure how to handle, how much of your concern is your inability to accomplish the task?
Not much. I actually tend to be worried about my lack of control over the situation. I have a very “I must be in charge” attitude, and it hinders my ability to learn sometimes. In a situation like this, I would try to overcompensate my ignorance with a headstrong attitude and pretend I know how to accomplish the task. Ironically, it works, even though it is a fake knowledge. I also tend to reach out to my resources to help me. I am good about that. I’m also not afraid at ALL to humble down and ask a lot of questions. Jackie knows.
3. When you are communicating with another, do you more often seek information or understanding of the situation?
Understanding. Their speech is never as important to me as their actions. I tend to just “know” what people are going to say based on their attitudes. This helps in determining their position on a matter and helps me have time to think about how to respond without waiting. Of course, when a deceptive answer comes about, I can get tripped up just like anybody. So, more emphasis on information is usually my goal in trying to improve my communication. Synthesis of the two would be ideal.
4. Do you share an experience immediately after someone shares one with you or do you ask questions of them about theirs?
Yes.
5. If you expect a person to do something, and they fail to do it, do you get upset?
Yes. I tend to be a “puppet-master”. I have recently come to this realization. And, I am not sure if this is a good or bad thing.
6. When someone upsets you and they walk away, what is your response? Do you follow them or let them go?
People do NOT tend to upset me. It’s weird with me, I very rarely get upset. But, when I DO get upset, I am not in a good place. I always follow them and work it out to some degree, even if it is simply a personal issue.
7. Do you get angry a lot when trying to communicate with others?
No. I don’t. I really stay very calm or energetically positive when communicating. This comes from my theater training.
8. How many times do you hear yourself say things like „That‟s awful?‟ or „It was great!‟?
In what context? In a communication sense, I rarely do that unless I follow it up with details.
9. Do you always find yourself being misrepresented from something you said and never seem to be understood?
Yeah. I mean. I tend to be verbose. haha. I’d like to work on being concise. I’ve NEVER been good at that.
10. Is the sentence „This coffee is bad‟ a statement of fact?
No. It is an opinion.
11. Please create your own statement of fact.
Jackie Meyer lives in Houston, Texas.
12. The traffic light was green at 8:35 yesterday and today. Is it a fact or an assumption that it will be green tomorrow at 8:35?
It is an isolated fact for those two days. You cannot assume the future.
13. Please respond to the following as if it was a post in a forum: „The Force is just God. In fact, there‟s no need to call ourselves Jedi because we can just call ourselves God‟s Children. I know you all feel it too. So why not just admit it?‟
The Force has no opinion. If you take the Bible as fact, then God has a preferred way of living. One can use the Binding Energy of the Force however one would like. So, in that way, the Force is part of us. It helps us bend the world, and we conform to what we change. God is a being that encompasses all things. He has a plan and a job for all. This is not the Force, because it has a bias.
