07.20.09
Look Up
Look up. By: Ridde Nox
Passing by on a train ride,
Looking out at the city,
I see the mountains on the horizon…
Tall sleek buildings of steel.
Longing to see you in the dusty high-life
Where the people hang below,
Hub-bub, talk, and glamour,
Childish mocking ensues.
Nobody pays attention,
Everybody does their part.
Nobody looks up from their paper…
Nobody looks at you.
But I do. I stop and see the beauty,
The drive, the hope, the eyes, the heart.
I see it, as the sun shows light across the land
And, Beams from the heart of the Star send shattering
Shivers down my spine.
Beautiful. Girl.
I am passing on the hill,
The slow rise of the train takes you farther and further away
From my thoughts…
From my hope.
And, in these quatrains the world doesn’t stop.
The world never stops.
It keeps on turning as the buildings keep on rising.
Trains, mains, hearts, blocks, death, life, moving.
I see you every day.
I pass by you every day.
And every time, my world stops turning.
My world always stops turning.
No more rotations or revolutions around the sun,
I see you.
No more buildings being wrought or architects raising Hell,
I see you.
Only when the train inevitably and mercilessly pulls me beyond my
Visual sense of love and affection do I forget.
I forget.
Passing moments.
People don’t stop,
But I do.
People don’t look up from their books, or papers, or jobs…
But I do.
Isn’t that what love is in this world?
The common courtesy to slow down and look up?
See the nature around you…
The concrete jungle we have become?
Only the trees in the park remind me…
Only the family in small town life reminds me…
Only YOU remind me of the way life could have been…
I work eight hours a day… I sleep seven… I live for nine hours.
I live for nine measly hours a day… and in that time I catch a solemn glance
In your general direction.
In that time I scour every bit of information.
Every tid-bit of life.
Your pale skin,
Your smooth face,
Your magical eyes facing me.
The train.
It moves all too quickly.
Vivacious train, damn you.
Take me to the concrete jungle…
And let me look up every once in a while and appreciate what I could have had…
Nobody else does.
I’m Here
I’m Here… a psychological study of song and mental capacity.
I’m here, alone… wasted… I’m dying, alone, useless
as storms come and go leaving no rain nor the sun untasted…
I’m wondering, quick. I see you soon.
You draw into my eyes as your
face sings my goodbyes… I’m here.
I challenge my thoughts
To live outside of my mind.
As I sit alone, your face in the
Mirror, I ponder how I could know.
Useless… time… Useful… life.
Time is death…
Time is life…
I’m seeing you, walk. I’m loving you, sing.
I’m falling (I’m falling.),
Hold me up… Only you can know!
I challenge my thoughts
To live outside of my mind.
As I sit alone, your face in the
Mirror, I ponder how I could know.
Useless… time… Useful… life.
Time is death…
Time is life…
Only two minutes left on the clock.
Ticking and churning; my stomach’s on fire.
I hear the lyre…
The angels fly.
Finally, the clouds cry…
And people fall. And people fall. And people fall. And people fall.
Only one minutes left… I’m dying.
The timer is closer to zero
Closer than I could
Have ever
Imagined.
Someone’s dying… (Spoken:) The mirror breaks… her face disappears… and I… am … alone
I
Am
Here.
I challenge my thoughts
To live outside of my mind.
As I sit alone, your face in the
Mirror, I ponder how I could know.
Useless… time… Useful… life.
Time is death…
Time is life…
I challenge my thoughts
To live outside of my mind.
As I sit alone, your face in the
Mirror, I ponder how I could know.
Useless… time… Useful… life.
Time is death…
Time is life…
I am here.
Flying Under the Sea
(These were originally song lyrics)
Flying Under the Sea.
Up in the stratosphere, up in the clouds… There are birds flying high up in the big, blue sky… The perfect sky…
Where is the ground? Where is the love? Where are the people flying above?
Lost… They are lost. Flying under the sea.
with the fishes, and wishes of all mankind, and the wisdom of Newspaper stands. With the music muffled, and sharks in a scuffle, how can you survive down here?
Up in he clouds… Beyond the sea. There lies a world that nobody can be. Just close your eyes, you won’t come down… And the world will fall around you.
Sea horses… dragons… and life. Make for an interesting fight flying under the sea waiting for people to come by and be with the WHOLE WIDE WORLD above them!!!
with the fishes, and wishes of all mankind, and the wisdom of Newspaper stands. With the music muffled, and sharks in a scuffle, how can you survive down here?
Flying Under the sea…
Up in the stratosphere, up in the clouds… There are birds flying high up in the big, blue sky… The perfect sky. Flying Under the Sea.
Intro Training- Personal Assignment
Part I:
What first inspired you to seek the Jedi Path?
Good Question. It is one that is hard to answer because I am not fully Jedi. Keep in mind that I am a Shadow Jedi. So, what inspired me to leave the Sith path and join the Shadow ranks of peace and balance? That isn’t so hard. For one, I failed at being a Sith. It’s really that simple. I was not made or raised to be power-hungry… ok that’s a lie. I was, for my entire teenage-dom, consumed by power and the amazing feeling and rush of being “evil”. Which I really wasn’t, just pretending. I am not going to get into the meaning of “evil”, because you can imagine what that means. However, I kept pushing people away and I wasn’t being ME. I mean, I am not knocking the path… I am just being alone and away from the destruction I caused. I got OUT before I hurt myself… even though I did. I cut myself, I did… some things I am not proud of. Oy… what a path. I learned so much about those who suffer, and I think it’s part of my duty to LIVE. It was my job to not be sad, to be happy, and to just… BE myself. Isn’t that the purpose of my life? To live and be me? It isn’t my purpose to be you, the reader, or anyone else. That’s why I am looking for myself, since I have lost it. It’s all I can do, haha!
Were there any key events around that time that caused you to seek this path?
I had multiple visions of my killing all my friends… and only me surviving… and as the Earth was in a desolate raze, I… disintegrated into the Earth and everything regrew. Except me… and my friends. I had that same vision for months. I became so wrought with fear, that I just… left. I brought myself out of a trance long inflicted. And, look! I am here now. Out of my eden.
How did you find this training? Have you received any other training elsewhere (online or off)?
I trained at JEDI… I wanted to find it again, and so I am here. That’s all! haha. I have received a lot of training. (this is my MAIN sites, I overlapped with other minor sites a whole bunch) From 2002-2004 I was part of a Sith cult. 2004-2006, I was at Sithism. 2006-2007, JEDI and Jedi Realist Academy, etc… other jedi sites I don’t remember. Oh, and Force Followers United. And, then 2008-2009 I have been offline. Now I am back.
How would you define a Jedi?
Oy. A Jedi is a being that knows that all life is important and should be cherished. To rule over it would reduce the freedoms that all life has. The only way to benifit the world, is to help it along a moral and solid path, and to protect what is sovereign. They only wish to use their powers to better themselves to better serve the universe as it sees fit. 
What aspects of the Jedi do you aspire to?
I enjoy the idea of bettering myself as a PERSON so that not only can I be successful… I can use that ability as a better person to be a protective force to those I love. And, of course, the general public if they need it. Also, I enjoy the occasional moral. 
What does it mean for you to be a Jedi in your society?
In all honesty… It is… difficult to be a Jedi in this WORLD. A protector is mostly seen as the police, and aren’t they more feared than relied upon? So, I guess to be a Jedi is to be a social outcast where you aren’t necessarily appreciated, but we shouldn’t need to be accepted… we should get the enjoyment from helping others. Am I right? Or is that just my cynical mind talking?
What are your goals? Next 3 months?
I want to beat my inner darkness and learn that being a person is embracing all sides of onesself. I want to learn much more than I know. And, I want to be the best I can be in my day to day life.
Next 6 months?
I want to make significant progress. I want to learn how to focus. If I can learn to do this, I will move much more efficiently in my training. Which I anticipate will be beneficial in the long run.
Year?
Haha! I don’t usually plan that far out, cause things change… BUT, I hope to be well on my way to knighthood. Not really THERE in a year, but on my WAY there. I assume I am on my way there now, but there is just a different mindset being in the middle of the journey than at the beginning. But, I also want to be prepared for college, which will be happening in a year and a half… I know my Jedi training will help me with that.
I feel… ready! I am just itching to work with my instructors. However, patience is a virtue, and I want to work my way through this Intro course efficiently. I think you will agree! One of my main problems is trying to move too fast… I miss everything important, in fact… I wrote a poem on that once (*goes and finds the poem…*) I will post that next!
Hope you enjoyed this.
-Riddle Nox
-Shadow Knight.
07.19.09
Intro Course Assignment: Force
Hello All! My first assignment for my Intro Class was to perform a meditation based on results of a quiz I took. I ended up with the Spiritual Result. I believe this is very accurate of me… but I also got Emotional very close… so I am going to go that I am mainly Spiritual with a bit of Emotional in the back.
Emotional: This wasn’t a difficult one to prove I was a part of. I, sometimes, have an empathetic feeling towards other people and I am able to relate to others at a high level of similarity. In other words, I can put myself in someone else’s shoes very easily. It comes in handy when I am trying to offer Jedi-like advice, . I cannot describe how I can relate to others yet, but I am also sure that I will learn it in the near future. I would like to now discuss points specifically addressed in the article. “An emotional intuitive will have an innate sensitivity to the emotional states of others”. Well, yeah… I am able to relate to other people. And, I am usually able to make people feel a certain way. Like I said though, I don’t know how or why this is. My training in the darker paths allow me to see wen people are traveling down a darker path… and because of this, I am very sure that I am able to use that experience to bring them back from hurting themselves. I guess that sense of compassion can also be construed as an emotional trait.
“Because emotional intuitives receive impressions form the Force through their emotions, they are the most prone to experiencing intense, unexplained feelings”. I also feel that I fit this description. I remember a long time ago, I was in science class, and I had an A worthy project… but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was going to fail. But, in my brain, I knew that my project was a solid A. And, guess what, when I got my project back… I got the highest scoring grade in the class. (An A, yes) So, where did that unexplainable feeling come from? Well, it turns out that everyone else failed that assignment (to be fair, they got mostly Cs). And my hypothesis is that there were SO many people screaming their fear out as an emotion that I just picked it up. Which I feel is most common in large crowds. Say everyone else on the streets of New York looks up because they see a meteor coming down to Earth, you will look up too… not because of the meteor (you don’t know what it is yet), but you DO know that everyone else is concerned or worried! On such a large scale, even a non-Force user will feel that. So, I guess this is just a heightened version of such tendencies.
“Emotional intuitives can suffer from Allergies, chronic tiredness… etc”. YES! I do! I also have a hard time losing weight, which might come from the fact that I don’t use much physical energy (I am DEFINITELY not a physical intuitive… haha). But, always speculate and question. Now, where does my problem lie? It lies in the last paragraph of the page: “shift away from absorption of emotional energy and come into [focus]“. I changed the last word cause it means the same thing but has a bigger connotation. My biggest issue is pure LIVING in the moment. I have a VERY hard time, especially because I am a musician. My head is AlWAYS filled with music and thoughts and feelings. My mind is a very clouded place. I can only hope in my studies here I will find a way to overcome this.
Emotional Meditation: I didn’t spend a WHOLE lot of time with this one, because I plan to do more with it in the future. It was nice to have traveled in my mind to foreign places. And, actually, right after I did this (both times), I fell asleep. Which I am not sure if that is because I was relaxed or because the meditation just has that effect on me. However, beside the point… I have very few a recollection of what exactly happened. I can tell you that the energy found in the place where I was was ENORMOUS. I was very imagery driven with this and was very glad to be in a place other than where I was. However, my problem with this meditation was that it didn’t attack my problem directly, I don’t feel. I will praise the Spiritual meditation for being so clear with its intention and helping my to ground myself and solve my problem.
Spiritual: At this point, I am going to be brief and clear with what makes me a spiritual person. Emotional was much harder to support, but here I won’t need the quotes from the page. I have often been able to commune with the other world. Not physically, but I am able to receive heart-talk (you know… listen with your heart) from angels and spirits. Now, I don’t know how or why… but it has always haunted me. I would like to explore this further, but there isn’t much of a point in this particular exercise. I also DO have trouble managing my daily life. I always find myself planning for tomorrow instead of living in the moment where I belong. I have very vivid dreams. I do enjoy energy work… it was the first thing I did in the Sith training I received. I had a packet of energy work and I performed it ALL the time.
I have ADHD too.. does that explain it all? haha. I
Spiritual Meditation: I will be brief… but succinct. I had trouble actually DOING this meditation. I had trouble keeping my focus. When I attempted this… I found my body wanting to leap up off the floor instead of being bound there like I wanted it to. I think this may have to do with me not ever wanting to be held down by anything. This is my main fault… focus and ambition. I need to learn to FOCUS my AMBITION and therefore I will be able to help those in need and direct my energy to the greater good instead of being selfish and exercising my ability to flaunt my own personality.
That is all for now. I will be posting the next assignment either late tonight or sometime tomorrow. I want to crack out about 1 a day. Understand, I have been preparing and writing notes for three days. So, my research is mostly done, just need to focus and get it down on paper, which is surprisingly hard for me.
-Riddle Nox
-Shadow Knight.
07.17.09
Making Peace
Making peace with onesself has to do with acting completely as you are. It is my experience that anything and everything you do out of your character takes you further from the person you are supposed to be. Take for example: If you were a Jedi and and you stole candy from a store. Even things that small create an imbalance of your physical and mental body therefore your spirit is off-balance too. Another example on a much larger scale: Say you are a Sith, and you are destroying friendships and becoming self-centered and only caring about your advancement of power (trust me, that is VERY possible… but not stereotypical); well what would happen if you were to find that your character is more fitting of a Jedi, and you had been lying to yourself for 7 years. Now understand, that is extreme, but it’s highly possible to be blinded by the Dark Side (not that I believe in sides). So… you must make yourself a Jedi again. And how is this done? You must find out what you are comfortable with in your everyday actions. You must relax and conjunct with your true feelings.
There must be a technique to create this balance, and yes, as previously stated, it is meditation. An intense round a day will do wonders for anyone, because it will enlighten your soul to the true feelings your body is experiencing and your mind is thinking. it is unhealthy to think that as Jedi we are perfect… but sometimes we cannot see what we are doing in our everyday lives. IN fact, that is what the Christian Prayer is for. Praying to God IS a form of meditation, is it not? Even though you aren’t talking (necessarily) to yourself, you are understanding what you want and need through asking a higher power to grant it for you. You are showing your compassion for others by clearing your mind and exempting your evils to God. But, back to meditation. I would like to provide an exercise that may help you to understand what I am saying.
Meditation for Balance and Centering:
In preparation for this exercise, I am going to ask that you do not eat within an hour of this meditation, for food keeps the system moving and energy will not flow where you wish it to. I will also ask that IF POSSIBLE, wear as little as possible. Clothes will throw you off balance, but tight undergarments will be fine (Girls, that’s easy, Guys… please don’t wear boxers, wear at LEAST boxer-briefs). And lastly, drink two good sized glasses of water.
Step I: You should start by doing some basic balancing exercises. Such as: holding one foot with your hand and bending the leg back so you are standing on one foot. Or, you could walk a balance beam… or do any other gymnastic exercises. Be clean though, you should wash your hands after doing these if you perform any action outside.
Step 2: You should then be inside (if not already), and lie down on the ground. On your back.
Step 3: Do timed breathing: (breathe in for 2, hold for 4, let out for 2) slowly, you will notice that the breaths are palindrome. This is for balance… you may do ANY palindrome breathing… ex. (in for 1, hold for 6, and out for 1). Just as long as the two outer ones are similar, you should be fine. But, for extra balance of the body, you should double the middle from the outer. (in for 4, hold for 8, out for 4).
Step 4: Do Step three about 10 times. Afterwords, raise each limb of the body individually and while it is at the maximum height (you can hold it still), tighten and relax the muscle about 5 time per limb.
Step 5: At this point, it gets easy… just lie and feel your body SINK into the Earth. And you should (about 10 minutes in) feel completely at one with the Earth. Try NOT to think about anything except WHAT you are doing. You may not be able to hold it that long, but keep trying, you will get there.
Step 5.5: At this point, you have an optional step… you may choose to allow energy to flow through your body and cleanse your spirit, if you know how to do this, then do so. If you choose not to… it isn’t a problem.
Step 6: Start to come back, think of your family, think of your life, think of ALL that you have to do… and when you do it, you will be balanced and your body will respond to the actions you will it. You will also have a deeper understanding of what it is to be connected to everything around you.
Now, it may seem as though there is a missing point to the meditation and how you get to the outcome.. but I promise if you are patient and are very jedi-like, you will find the purpose in this, and the magical missing step will add itself. Trust in the force, and it will guide you to higher learnings.
You have made peace with yourself…
-Riddle Nox
-Shadow Night
07.16.09
My Shadow Holocron
I am creating a website currently which will house all of my teachings and be sort of my… library. When it is done, I will post the link. If you all have any articles you would like to submit that deal with a Shadow perspective (which can be anything from ordinary Force posts to a Shadow perspective specifically.), please comment. I would appreciate it. My aim is riddlenox, please message me with more SHTUFF.
OH, and if anyone is looking for someone to train them, I am always looking for an Apprentice. It is part of a Knight’s job to train an apprentice. I can do Jedi, Sith, or Shadow. Your choice. Please the path you are JOURNEYING on.
07.14.09
I am Riddle Nox.
Hello. I was instructed to produce an introduction of myself, which I will now do:
(I will attempt to make this as short and as painless as possible) I am a shadow. I have been everywhere… It all began when I was 12. I was exposed to Star Wars (original trilogy). My favorite characters were those of the Sith path. The third episode of Star Wars was in the dawning of creation on the movie screens, so I stole to my computer where I researched the Sith and my favorite plotter, Lord Sidious. I became obsessed with the thought of being powerful and understanding forces out of my reach at the time. So, I found a Sith cult online headed by a man whose name escapes me… started with an H, but that’s not important. What IS important is that I was a part of it. A member of that cult’s name was Wakan Logus. That’s important for later. I left Christianity (which I was brought up with) at this point.
So, these guys were obsessed with destroying the Jedi. Which was NOT my goal. I was trying to find myself. So… I left. The owner of that cult locked me out of the group. I got frustrated and went to Jedi.org. I became a Jedi. I studied there and at the Jedi Realist academy and at the Force Academy. I then turned 14. (I was 13 when I left the first cult). So, at this point I was told that I would be better off as a Sith. So, I began a LONG phase of transitional periods… I switched back and forth for a LONG time…
I trained at various places. I got through rough courses and progressed quickly. I was told I had talent. I even invented my own type of Force Path, Ahzway. But that failed… So, I went off to study on my own. I went to live with my family in East Texas for a summer, where I lived out in the wild west… pretty much alone. They left me alone. I turned 15. At this point, I understood what I wanted. I became a Sith again. I came back and trained for about 6 months online. I worked through Sithism.com (which closed) and other Seti related websites. Phoenix, you may remember Gradium Kildreth, or SithKilders, or some related stuff from Sithism or the temple. Idk, you said you had relations with Seti. I worked hard. So hard, I had to get away from the darkness. I was almost engulfed. I went to the Jedi Sanctuary and took a new name… Riddle Nox. The mystery of the night… I became a loner. I was still a Sith. But, I was drifting away from the evils inside of me. It wasn’t me… it was just my lust for power. I didn’t want to hurt people (which is what all the other Sith wanted to do… at least at this site, they didn’t believe in the hell-hole philosophy where Sith were required to worship the darkness. I was finally out of a dark chasm that I didn’t belong in. I started to see what I hadn’t seen before, Sith and Jedi working TOGETHER (actually… that is a lie, I did practice at Force Followers United for a while, before it was called as such under Hannigan’s teachings). At this point, I remet Wakan Logus. He was the same as he always was. Cultlike… etc. I was 16. He told me he could teach me everything, so I let him. But after three months, he tried to take me back down the hole. I left.
I then met Atlas. He took me under his wing, but I escaped his Solar Philosophy, which was the unification of the Sith… they were… not good people. At this point, I went soul searching. I couldn’t decide what my path was… so I planned to leave the Force. But, I was so instilled in its teachings… and its life. I had to relax and choose. I had to decide what I wanted and what I needed to do about my life. It was time for me to make my last life changing decision which was such a whirl-wind prospect that I wasn’t fully prepared myself for what was to occur.
I became a Christian Shadow Jedi. A warrior of the shadow. It is interesting, it takes both Light and Darkness to make a shadow. Without one, we have bright, without the other, we have night. I left my status as a Sith and adopted the title of Shadow Knight. I skipped the shadow beginner phase (because I was… well… haha… already well-versed in the force). This happened in June, the same month that I turned 17. Which it is now July… so I am one month into it. I am very sure my path has been chosen well. For me… I have had some hard times. But, I got over it and started over. And, I didn’t lose any of my knowledge. What I had known, I still do. And, I am still very power driven. But, I am not dark… I don’t worship the dark, I use my emotions to my advantage, but I don’t let them use me. All of that independent Shadow Stuff you always hear about. And, I don’t like labels, I think most people are shadow and don’t know it, but that is JUST me. You don’t have to even worry about that statement, but it allows you to enter my frame of mind. Seti was a great influence to me, but so was my former master Jedi Argonis. They both have similar views of balance.
And yes, I do believe I have earned the title of Knight. I worked hard and I understand the importance of the title, and I also recognize, I am WAYY to young to be a Master. I don’t have enough LIFE experience. Nonetheless, I strive to mastership of myself. You know? Because then, I will be a Shadow Master. But, I think… since the path is so personal, I am going to become a Shadow Shaman. Just alone. But, that won’t happen for a long time. Funny how this stuff ends… with plans. Because then it’s not REALLY ending, it’s just opening a different pathway. People who are atheist, they don’t make plans… (I can say this, because I was there… but if you believe in the Force, you are NOT an atheist, it’s impossible to BOTH Codes (Jedi and Sith)), and those people just die… they don’t go anywhere, they purposefully don’t make any plans. So they are who truly end. We don’t.
So, I am going to stop now. My story is just beginning… I have a lot to look forward to, and I am glad I will get to share it with you. I am going to make a blog and use this as the first post. So, goodbye for now. I will be around. Remember, I like to make my point, back it up, and leave it. I don’t make much commentary. My high school physics teacher told me once… learn the LEAST amount possible to get you the most information. LONG-winded and pointless posts, while they look good, will NOT suffice for me. So, believe in that, and we will get along fine.
-Riddle Nox.
-Shadow Knight.
